Poultry Stand-Off

When the chickens first made a little niche for themselves on the patio bookshelf, I thought it was charming. What have you got there on the bookshelf? A blanket, some backyard toys, art supplies, and a couple chickens. Nothing weird about that.

But the birds grew, and so did the mess they left in their wake. They knocked flower pots and glass jars off the shelf, covered the blanket with dust, not to mention the poop everywhere.

I was thrilled when Phil completed the coop. Now the girls had a warm, cozy place to sleep at night. They would be so happy in their new digs.

But they wouldn't give up the bookshelf. No matter how many times I shooed them off the patio, or put treats by their coop.

Today I shop-vac'd and hosed down the patio - again - and cleaned the bookshelf. And as soon as dusk hit, the chickens were right back on it. So I came up with what I thought was a genius plan: face the bookshelf backward. They would soon realize it was of no use to them anymore, and would find a new place to roost -- hopefully the coop. And then I would face the bookshelf forward again, and have my blissful patio to myself again.

I had outsmarted the birds. I was feeling pretty smug. They stared at the back of the shelf for a while, a look of perplexion on their beaky faces. I figured it was only a matter of time before they high-tailed it off the patio to find somewhere else to hunker down.

I was naive to think the chickens would take this lying down.

They retaliated in a way that hit below the belt:

They took the kegerator hostage.